The mark

"There once was in man a true happiness of which now remain to him on the mark and empty trace, which he in vain tries to fill from all his surroundings, seeking from things absent the help he does not obtain in things present. But these are all inadequate, because the infinite abyss can only be filled by an infinite and immutable object, that is to say, only by God Himself."

Blaise Pascal

This resonated with me the instant I read it. I am reading Desiring God by John Piper. He begins by quoting : "The chief end of man is to glorify God by enjoying him forever." He changed the preposition from 'and' to 'by'. He did so in order to make the point that enjoying; finding joy in Him brings glory to Him. He states that he originally thought that if he did something "good" and felt good doing it, then he must be doing it for the wrong reason. He discovered how incredibly wrong it was to feel that way... we are supposed to take joy, be happy when we are glorifying our God. This led Piper to then use the quote above and that is what has left me pondering the depths of my salvation.

When I was growing up (this will be a repeat of information for most of you) I was surrounded by the knowledge of God. It was everywhere (except for maybe spoken aloud at school, but yes it was even there). It was the topic of conversation as lest as much as or maybe even more so than sports or the weather. My house was a place of conversation and then when we went over to Grandmother and Granddaddy's house there was more conversation. We went to church every time the doors were open and then my mom had a key, so sometimes we were there getting ready for when it would be open. That meant Tuesday night, Wednesday night, Sunday morning and night unless we were sick or on vacation (and even then we found a church). I say all of this to say I don't remember a time not knowing who God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are. I've never really struggled with the concept of The Trinity. My pastor growing up (the only one I had until I went to college) was and is incredible. He has been blessed with the ability to word ideas in such a fashion that the youngest listener and the most seasoned listener can come away having gained. In one of those sermons he said that all of us were created with a God size hole that only He can fill. Thing is, my Granddaddy has said that same thing.

I believe with all of my heart that it is true. The quote says it so eloquently. We know from the time we begin learning who we are that there is something inherently missing. It is as plain as the nose on our faces. We try with everything we have to "fill" that place... name anything. We were designed to bring glory to our Creator, our loving Creator. Who loved us enough to give us the choice to love Him back. He does not demand that we love Him; He asks; He seeks. He stands at the door and knocks. He allowed himself to be put through a corrupt trial, mocking, severe beating so that he was unrecognizable and hung on a cross to die. WHY?! Because He LOVED me, you. He saw His dearest friends, His mother, looked into the future and saw you and me today and He said, "I love them, I will do this"- actually He said "not My will, but Yours be done". He knew that we needed Him, and He was fully man while being fully God. He brought glory to God the Father, His Father.

I am now back at the original idea- desiring God. I desire God. I want to fill that hole, to be filled wholly with Him. I can't rely on friends, family, my husband, nature- the creation of God to fill me with the happiness, joy that He desires for me. I must rely on the Creator to fill the mark.

With this being Palm Sunday and then Easter I am reminded ever so of the sacrifice. Let me not live in vain of that sacrifice. Let me not try to fill with anything except Him.

This time last year...

This time last year was a very busy day. It was Conference Day at OCSI. I taught 6th graders and had been helping them since shortly after the first of the year compile "works" to put into their portfolio; discussing with them the need to reflect on both great pieces and those that weren't that great and what that had to say about their learning over the year and where they thought they could improve. The challenge to them was that they were then going to present these "works" and ideas to their parents. The day proceeded just as I thought it would. The kids did really well. Some were VERY nervous, but once they got into their portfolio and began talking to their parents they began to relax. Most of them were afraid to show their parents their "not so good" piece of work. I watched as the parents held back for the most part and listened. Their faces told much of the thoughts they were having. Their faces changed as their child explained what happened and what they did better the next time and what they continued to do. The parents asked great questions and hugged their child at the end of their time. I thanked them for coming and the next parent came in until the day was finished. It was now the end of the day, but it was far from over. It now became clean-up turn-in survey get ready for tomorrow time. I began with returning my classroom to the everyday order. I then prepared for the next coming days, graded journals for the week and put those grades into the computer system. I packed up, grabbed the surveys, locked the door and headed downstairs. On my way down, I ran into friends and chatted for a bit about their conferences and how well their students did. I then moved on and went to talk with my principal and give her the parent surveys. We talked for a bit about my observations and since it was the end of the day, I helped to clean up some of the tables that were outside and bring materials back inside where they belonged. Here the ordinary part of the day ends.

The reports of an earthquake on Mainland began coming in and then so did the tsunami warnings. There was a bit of confusion, but one thing was certain, the lower area below the school was going to be evacuated. I left to go home. On the way home, AFN radio gave a much clearer announcement of what we on Okinawa were expecting. I pulled over and called school to let them know. I headed home with my earpiece in knowing that the recall phone calls would begin shortly. I was right. I had two before I could even get home from school. All the while this was going on, my mind was at this point two other places and soon it would be even more places. Right now, my mind had been on my husband, who was not on the island at the time, but on "business elsewhere" and the people on Mainland. When I got home, I began to talk with friends in our complex about what was happening. I then got a call letting me know that Patrick would soon be heading that way.

Then the reports began coming out. Friends had family members that were being both affected and effected by the events on Mainland. In the coming days, prayer requests were being listed by our students. Tragic tales of unspeakable loss were coming in each day like new waves of water. I had to stop watching the news because the devastation was just too much for me to see. Our school raised money and prayed each and everyday. Patrick and members of the 353rd (along with countless others) were on Mainland helping in Operation Tomodachi.

Uncertainty and devastation thankfully is not the end of the story. This video is amazing. It touched me beyond what words can described.

Japan One Year Later | Break.com

www.break.com