The mark

"There once was in man a true happiness of which now remain to him on the mark and empty trace, which he in vain tries to fill from all his surroundings, seeking from things absent the help he does not obtain in things present. But these are all inadequate, because the infinite abyss can only be filled by an infinite and immutable object, that is to say, only by God Himself."

Blaise Pascal

This resonated with me the instant I read it. I am reading Desiring God by John Piper. He begins by quoting : "The chief end of man is to glorify God by enjoying him forever." He changed the preposition from 'and' to 'by'. He did so in order to make the point that enjoying; finding joy in Him brings glory to Him. He states that he originally thought that if he did something "good" and felt good doing it, then he must be doing it for the wrong reason. He discovered how incredibly wrong it was to feel that way... we are supposed to take joy, be happy when we are glorifying our God. This led Piper to then use the quote above and that is what has left me pondering the depths of my salvation.

When I was growing up (this will be a repeat of information for most of you) I was surrounded by the knowledge of God. It was everywhere (except for maybe spoken aloud at school, but yes it was even there). It was the topic of conversation as lest as much as or maybe even more so than sports or the weather. My house was a place of conversation and then when we went over to Grandmother and Granddaddy's house there was more conversation. We went to church every time the doors were open and then my mom had a key, so sometimes we were there getting ready for when it would be open. That meant Tuesday night, Wednesday night, Sunday morning and night unless we were sick or on vacation (and even then we found a church). I say all of this to say I don't remember a time not knowing who God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are. I've never really struggled with the concept of The Trinity. My pastor growing up (the only one I had until I went to college) was and is incredible. He has been blessed with the ability to word ideas in such a fashion that the youngest listener and the most seasoned listener can come away having gained. In one of those sermons he said that all of us were created with a God size hole that only He can fill. Thing is, my Granddaddy has said that same thing.

I believe with all of my heart that it is true. The quote says it so eloquently. We know from the time we begin learning who we are that there is something inherently missing. It is as plain as the nose on our faces. We try with everything we have to "fill" that place... name anything. We were designed to bring glory to our Creator, our loving Creator. Who loved us enough to give us the choice to love Him back. He does not demand that we love Him; He asks; He seeks. He stands at the door and knocks. He allowed himself to be put through a corrupt trial, mocking, severe beating so that he was unrecognizable and hung on a cross to die. WHY?! Because He LOVED me, you. He saw His dearest friends, His mother, looked into the future and saw you and me today and He said, "I love them, I will do this"- actually He said "not My will, but Yours be done". He knew that we needed Him, and He was fully man while being fully God. He brought glory to God the Father, His Father.

I am now back at the original idea- desiring God. I desire God. I want to fill that hole, to be filled wholly with Him. I can't rely on friends, family, my husband, nature- the creation of God to fill me with the happiness, joy that He desires for me. I must rely on the Creator to fill the mark.

With this being Palm Sunday and then Easter I am reminded ever so of the sacrifice. Let me not live in vain of that sacrifice. Let me not try to fill with anything except Him.